


Catching Your Fall

by dotfic



Category: White Collar
Genre: Character Study, Character of Color, Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-28
Updated: 2010-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotfic/pseuds/dotfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If anyone asked why she left DC, Diana always said the paperwork got a little tame because that was easier than explaining the whole truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catching Your Fall

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: Written for the Awesome People of Colour Awesome comment-a-thon for noveltea's prompt, _White Collar, Diana Berrigan, loyalty_ , originally posted [here](http://medie.livejournal.com/1759238.html?thread=18217734#t18217734).
> 
> Spoilers for "Need to Know."

If anyone asked, Diana would say she left the DC assignment because after a while, the desk job bored her out of her skull. This was a true statement, but if Diana dug a little deeper, cross-examined herself, it really had a whole lot more to do with Charlie. To be precise, not only Charlie, but Agent Burke, and then after some time, Neal Caffrey and Agent Jones. So if anyone asked why she left DC, Diana always said _the paperwork got a little tame_ because that was easier than explaining the whole truth.

Growing up she never lingered in any given school long enough to make friends, or she had tutors. She spent more time in top-notch hotels than anything that resembled a permanent home. They were comfortable and clean and she could have movies in her room and anything she wanted from room service, but she loved running up and down the halls, peeking into any space where the door would open, Charlie always her shadow staying a few yards behind her, reprimanding her if it looked like she was going into an inappropriate area. He followed her down stairwells and into empty ballrooms where she pulled the canvas cover off the grand pianos and played random notes or peered down the shaft of dumbwaiters until Charlie's arm hooked around her waist and pulled her back.

He was never impressed with her rare childhood tantrums, just folded his arms and looked at her until she stopped stomping and crying. "You finished?" he'd say, cool and calm as anything, giving her the eye until she felt ridiculous, making her question herself for carrying on like that if she ever wanted to be taken seriously. Mostly Diana toed the line, early on witnessed the value of a carefully worded reply over pounding the table, the skill of a the misdirect, the defusing of a potentially angry situation so as not to lose sight of a greater goal. She understood all that, but was still restless, bored, and lonely.

When she turned thirteen, the twice-a-year tantrum incidents turned into a lot of back-talk and a smart mouth. Wandering the hotel hallways pretending to be an explorer turned into games of Ditch Charlie to go to the parties and hang outs she heard about from her classmates of the month.

When she drank too much beer the first time, when she got a stomach bug, Charlie held her head while she knelt on the fancy, cold marble bathroom tiles and puked. He put a wet washcloth across the back of her neck and said "there's my tough girl, you're okay."

He took her to a gym and taught her to fight, had her kick at a punching bag while he corrected her technique, then put big pads on his hands and had her punch at him. He said he was only human, and if he messed up he wanted her to know how to defend herself.

Once when she ditched him, she almost got pushed into a car. Charlie stepped out of the shadows and slammed one of the guys down against the hood, and kicked the other one into a tree while Diana could only stand there useless, ashamed of how much she was shaking.

Charlie didn't speak to her for a week after that and it hurt so much it was a tight band across her chest. She apologized, he accepted. They didn't talk about it further. The angry, scared look Charlie had given her after he'd stopped those two guys was enough to tell her that much as Charlie prided himself on his skills as a bodyguard, he wasn't furious due to professional pride.

As she grew, Charlie let her do what she wanted more and more, even while he was still her shadow.

And then Charlie was gone.

Agent Burke reminded her of what it was like to have someone who had faith in her ability to fight watching over her, at the ready to make the catch even if she didn't need one. It was Diana who felt like she was the one with the net out for him, to protect and be his shadow. She was sorry she hadn't known Caffrey when they were kids, she could've run up and down the halls of hotels with him, a couple of lanky smart-mouths. They could've spied together on the swank parties in the ballrooms, and he could've gotten her into the locked places she wanted to see. Agent Jones was as curious about the edge as she was -- she had a feeling he wasn't nearly as buttoned up as he appeared, but he'd pull her back if she was about to fall, and be hurt if she treated that loyalty carelessly. They all would, and she was wired the same way.

If anyone asked why she wanted reassignment back to Agent Burke's team, she'd say because the desk job bored her.

But really, in the end, it was because of Charlie.


End file.
